Domestic violence and restorative practices

A national focus

Across Australia this week, there has been a strong focus on domestic violence.

The Hitting Home series on ABC TV together with the associated Q&A special provided a wealth of material for reflection and discussion.

For me, the strong but understated implication of the programs was the desperate need for 

• Social and emotional development of the perpetrators (and victims)
• Repair of the harm done to the victims (and perpetrators)

How much of the problematic behaviour in schools is the product of child abuse and domestic violence? Much more than is generally acknowledged.

In the Q&A program there was a report of the recent initiatives to move from reactive police after the event, to preventative policing before more harm is done.

Schools can play a powerful long-term role in preventing further domestic violence by embedding restorative practices to

• repair harm already done
• make expectations explicit - everyone needs to know and agree what is acceptable
• build community that  supports both victims and potential perpetrators*
• enable the social and emotional development of all members of the school community.

(* I have always believed that being a bully is bad for the bully)

I wrote about Breaking the Cycle of Family Violence a few months ago. This week has only re-enforced the need to maintain every effort possible.

It is not about Restorative Practices

It is not about Restorative Practices per se

To paraphrase this profound GapingVoid cartoon:

Restorative practices are not the thing. It is the person, family, home, team, class, school, community... that you build with restorative practices that are the real thing.

Restorative practices/justice are a powerful set of strategies and tools but they have no value in themselves. Their value lies in enabling  ordinary people to

• Resolve often serious problems 
• Repair harm done
• (Re-)build relationships and 
• Build the "community".

And this is why the Social Discipline Window is at the core of Restorative Practices. 

Building relationships and community cannot be done TO or FOR the people involved. And it won't happen is no-one gets involved. 

To build a "house" (community) it necessary to work WITH the people involved. This means providing the necessary Support and Challenges that are embedded in all Restorative Practices.

Restoring Habits of Mind

Positive Habits of Mind

Habits of Mind are our patterns of thinking that shape our actions and experiences over time, and in a range of situations.

Positive habits of mind contribute to our own best interests, while respecting the rights of other. Sadly unhelpful habits of mind make life more difficult for us and for those around us.

Good or bad they operate automatically and require little effort so that we may not even be aware that we have unhelpful habits in the way we see and respond to others and situations that we encounter.

In a sense our habits of mind are our personal systems for dealing with our selves in the world. As such they are likely to contain our real values.

Positive habits of mind are not simple rules or skills but often require considerable insight, astute judgement, resilience, courage, practice and tenacity….leading to ongoing success and well-being.

Habits of Mind and Restorative Practices

Restorative Practices support the development of positive habits of mind.

Restorative circles and restorative questions often also reveal unhelpful habits. For example, it is common for participants in circles or restorative meetings to gain profound insights leading to new ways of thinking about themselves and each other.

Restorative commitments and on-going support enable 'offenders' to practice new habits of mind. This is one reason why follow-up is important

Outcomes
There are lots of good things can flow from developing improved habits of mind:

• Confidence
• Persistence
• Organisation
• Getting Along (improved relationships)
• Resilience 
• ...

Lots of ways of acting and responding

By improving our habits of mind, Restorative Practices can improve the following social and emotional abilities that are essential for our success and well-being:

• Accepting Myself and Other
• Taking Risks
• Being Independent
• Giving Effort
• Working Tough
• Setting Goals
• Optimism
• Happiness
• Thinking and communicating with clarity and precision
• Focusing on solutions (rather than problems)
• Managing impulsivity
• Gathering data through all senses
• Listening with understanding and empathy
• Creating, imagining and innovation
• Thinking flexibly
• Responding with wonderment and awe
• Thinking about thinking (metacognition)
• Taking responsible risks
• Striving for accuracy
• Finding humour
• Questioning and posing problems
• Thinking independently
• Applying past knowledge
• Remaining open to continuous learning
• ...

Note: Consider how many of the above are impacted by drug addiction, mental illness and unresolved guilt.

3 Tiers of Restorative Practices

Integrating RP and PBIS

Restorative Practices (RP) and School-wide Positive Behaviour Support (PBIS) overlap and complement each other. And many schools use both approaches in very well integrated ways.

For example, I came across this diagram explaining three levels of intervention as it applies to the use of Restorative Practices in schools

Like well implemented Restorative Practices, PBIS is school-wide and aims to build clarity of expectations, support, relationships and community. It is not just about solving problems. In many schools Restorative Practices are valued as powerful positive interventions and supports.

Three Levels of application

For those involved in School-Wide PBIS, the above diagram will be very familiar!! And adopting Restorative Practices is a natural step forward to make the school's PBIS even more effective. At the same time it is important to remember that Restorative Practices is not a short-cut version of PBIS!

And as in PBIS, it can be useful to think of three levels of application of RP 

1. School-wide Prevention Practices can easily incorporate many aspects of RP including

• use of affective statements
• extensive use of circles for a wide range of everyday purposes

2. Managing Difficulties includes supports such as 

• the use of the (Restorative) questions that can generate insight and create possibilities for resolving issues 
• more use of (Restorative) circles / meetings  focused on existing and/or emerging issues with the students (and others) involved

3. Intense Intervention includes

• restorative conferences

[The above diagram is from Restorative Justice - a working guide for our schools - a sound, easy-to-read guide to implementing what some call "restorative practices" at the school or school district level.  For more information simply Google "pbis"]

We want you here!!

Where is your focus? Problem solving or belonging??

The Restorative Schools online newspaper reports each week about schools reducing suspensions, having fewer problems... all things that make the school a better, safer place to be.

But one slightly different headline caught my eye - a message to students:

We want you here!!         

Such schools are voicing a direct commitment to their students, all their students!! Not just those who arrive at school in reasonable shape and comply with the schools' expectations.

Many problematic students are not wanted anywhere else in our communities... school might be their only chance to be wanted in a healthy community. To belong is a basic human need we all share. 

The school, club... doesn't want a person who else will? Employers? Clubs? Community groups?... Probably not!!

This is fundamental to the success of Restorative Practices - that those who have done harm can still belong.

How clearly does your school, club, group...communicate with all its people that they are wanted?

Restoring our organisations

"Restorative" is not just for people (updated)

Does your organisation make it easy for people to "do the right thing"?

Sometimes we need to "restore" our organisations, communities, teams, businesses, clubs, classes, schools...so that people do the right thing and there is less need for restorative justice.

Common approaches
The basic organisational approach is to try to fix every problem as it occurs (if possible). A more comprehensive approach is to respond at the three levels outlined in Problem Solving with Restorative Practices: 
Contain - Resolve (& Repair) - Reduce

An even more comprehensive and pro-active approach is to do both the above AND restore the organisation (school, service, team, business...) in which problems arise. But how to do it in in ways that are consistent with Restorative principles? And where to start?

Underlying principles
The fundamental principles underpining Restorative approaches include...

• The care and attention we give demonstrates the value we place on matters and things. 
• Most of us (attempt to) respond to the value we perceive that others place on matters and things.

Restorative management makes it easier to "do the right thing"

1. Make expectations explicit- involve everyone in developing expectations
2. Make expectations achievable - some people may need assistance
3. Show that we care - 'walk the talk'
4. Explain why we care - leadership, values, develop emotional intelligence
5. Achieve agreement across and throughout the organisation, community...
6. Act to reduce the frequency of problems arising  - see below
7. Fix a problem promptly when it gets broken and involve 'the perpetrator' if possible
8. Monitor and celebrate ongoing improvements
9. Use alternate responses if the 'window' gets broken repeatedly by the same people

 At the organisational level the following steps can "restore" the organisation. 

1. Know which problems occur frequently around here                  
2. Check the available data - does reality match perceptions?
3. Establish priorities for attention, prevention & response
4. Work through the key elements (above) in relation to a priority problem  

A frequently occurring problem can lead to an action plan focused on making it easier for everyone to do the right thing. The action plan is properly implemented when it goal happens as a matter of course without intervention, supervision...

Is it really new?

Chances are the above represents the best of what you already do, especially if you are a Restorative Practitioner. Perhaps this framework will enable everyone to be a little more consistent and collaborate a little more easily.

A more detailed discussion is available Broken Windows.

Problem Solving with Restorative Practices

Three levels of response to problems

Solving problems involves up to three levels of response:

Contain - Resolve (& Repair) - Reduce

Restorative Practices can have an important role to play in all three levels.

 

1. Contain the situation - so that it doesn't get worse and no more harm is done. 

Many restorative practices may contribute to de-escalating a tense the situation:

• Calm, affective statements can express care, concern and non-judgemental support for all involved
• Calm restorative questions may enable the parties to have their experiences acknowledged, assuring them that they have been or will be heard. This in turn may reduce their fear, anger, frustration...
• Even a quick spontaneous circle may really help defuse a situation. With more formal follow-up later, if appropriate
• Having a restorative culture with a proven track record means that the parties involved 
• can be confident that "We can handle this" and, 
• the process will be fair

2. Resolve what happened & Repair the harm done

For minor problems, containing the situation using the above strategies may well be sufficient. But do some incidental follow-up, just to make sure!!

For major problems more formal Restorative Practices may require restorative Circles, Meetings or Conferences that...

• Are entered into voluntarily by all parties
• Are well facilitated: suitable venue, layout, skilled, respectful, well timed, sequenced (scripted)
• Ensure proper accountability
• Lead to repairing the harm done if possible
• And have effective follow up as required to ensure that the problem has been resolved, commitments met, relationships restored...

3. Reduce the likelihood of the problem recurring

In the busy life of schools, businesses and other organisations time, energy and attention are valuable resources not to be wasted on non-core activities. It can be very satisfying and a relief to "fix" a problem. This is one reason we can be tempted to cut corners, simply tick off a problem as "solved" and move on.

But what if the problem recurs? It just means more time, energy and attention has to be given to fixing it next time!! Which also means less time for core activities. Rework is waste. So how to reduce the likelihood of problems recurring? 

There are lots of ways to do this including...

BUILD COMMUNITY!! - shared purposed, inclusion, belonging, identity...

- Train staff and others in restorative practices  

- Deploy and integrate restorative practices across the organisation 

- Identify as a restorative organisation*

- Develop a restorative culture  

- Make people aware of your restorative culture* 

- Share your restorative experiences  

- Use restorative practices (statements, questions, circles...) in non-problem situations 

- Gather data about your use and the effectiveness of your Restorative Practices

*NOTE:  Courage may be required

Identifying as a restorative organisation, and letting others know about may require a modicum of courage. We have to be brave enough to say "We are not perfect, we have problems too, things go wrong here,...". 

But remember there are two questions in the minds of your clients, students, families, staff, ...

"Does this organisation care about me, us, my child...?"
"Does this organisation know what it is doing?"

Being a restorative organisation is a step towards being able to answer both questions with a clear and demonstrable "Yes!"

Restorative Social Emotional Learning

Restorative Practices involve SEL
   Restorative Practices are not just about fixing things when someone has done the wrong thing, although of course that can be very important. There are always social and emotional aspects when someone does the wrong thing.  This means that successful Restorative Practices always involve social and emotional learning (SEL).

SEL everywhere all the time
   We are fundamentally social and emotional beings and, as a result, social and emotional learning is fundamental to the achievement of success and well-being by all of us.

• Social and emotional learning is an ongoing whole-of-life need and challenge
• Every action and interaction has social and emotional aspects
• All experiences, teaching and learning have SEL components
• All relationships involve substantial social and emotional experiences
• Our thinking shapes our social and emotional learning
• Similar experiences can result in very different social and emotional learning
• Social and emotional learning is complex and unpredictable
• Our social and emotional learning is influenced by that of those around us
• Significant others are more influential than casual acquaintances
• ...

In short, for better or worse, social and emotional learning occurs in all places, at all times and in all contexts including school, home and the community. Supporting social and emotional learning is one of the core tasks of families, schools, communities, and restorative practices.

The outcomes of social and emotional learning
   Social and Emotional Learning is the process of acquiring knowledge, skills and attitudes to

• recognise and manage emotions
• develop care and concern for self and others
• establish and maintain positive relationships
• make responsible decisions, and
• set and achieve positive goals
• constructively handle challenging situations

SEL in schools
   Because social and emotional learning are so universal across place and time, it can be difficult to map those things needing conscious attention in the life and work of schools. In teaching SEL schools may focus on one or more of the followiing

• Social skills
• Habits of mind
• School-wide positive behaviour support (SWPBS) 
• Anti-bullying programs
• Cooperative learning initiatives such as Tribes; 
• Values programs; 
• Emotional literacy teaching
• ....

There are a multitude of valuable initiatives all of which can make positive contributions to student and staff success and well-being.

Four dimension of SEL
   The following four part framework might be useful to schools, clubs, and other organisations to map their present provision and to identify opportunities for enhancing SEL in the school and its community.

1. Thinking –  knowing, understanding, appreciating, accepting and applying the requirements expected by the school, school system and the wider community
2. Emotional literacy that informs individual decision making and responses by recognising significant emotional experiences  in self & others
3. Social skills – enabling successful social interactions that enable us to meet our own needs without significantly impairing the success and well-being of others
4. Habits of Mind – successful self management over the course of life's challenges, ups and downs.  That is, long term sustainable approaches to life’s challenges and achievements

Supporting Social and Emotional Learning

  Families, organisations, communities... support social and emotional learning through explicit, or tacit

• Expectations:
• Rules:
• Programs (SEL):
• Pedagogies:
• Practices, e.g., active supervision…
• Problem solving methods
• ...

Positive SEL Indicators

• Greater sense of well-being
• Greater sense of success
• Greater sense of belonging
• Greater sense of community

Behavioural indicators of SEL

• Fewer incidents/issues
• Faster recovery
• Incidents/issues are less serious
• Transference of learning into new situations

What is it that Restorative Practices actually restore?

In order to monitor the success or otherwise of our Restorative Practices we need a framework against which to monitor the outcomes. 

Fewer problems, less harm, better behaviour... are all important outcomes. However these are actually low order indicators. They may not reveal the ways in which restorative practices have really improved the well-being of those involved.

Obviously there are lots of possible answers to the above question. For example, a school that was using Martin Seligman's approach to Well-Being might use restorative practices to restore the 5 main elements (PERMA) that contribute to success and well-being, namely,

1. Positive Emotions 

• Experiencing joy and pleasure

While the outcomes of bad experiences are the opposites of joy or pleasure, it is important for people to ultimately feel more positive after dealing with the bad things that they have done, or have been done to them. 

Unfortunately, punitive approaches leave wrong-doers in the state of feeling bad (shamed) about what they have done as 'logical consequence'. However this is likely to result in on-going disengagement, resentment, loss of confidence... that make it more difficult for a wrong-doer to become a full contriubting member of his/her organisation or community

Similarly, traditional approaches often fail to address the emotional needs of the person who has been harmed so that they continue to feel bad about what has been done to them and are similarly limited.

2. Engagement 

• Being consciously involved in our activities

Disengagement (isolation, suspension, gaol...) is also often seen as a 'logical consequence' of doing the wrong thing but this reduces the likelihood of productive engagement

3. Relationships 

• Having enjoyable and supportive interactions with others

Damaged relationships are very often a result of wrong doing. Failing to restore damaged relationships is likely to result in a long term state of reduced success and wellbeing

4. Meaning 

• Creating a purposeful narrative about our lives
• Being engaged with or serving something larger than ourselves

Having been harmed, or having caused harm to others, changes our personal narratives for the worse. Experiencing restoration of positive emotions, engagement, relationships... helps to restore constructive meaning in our lives.

5. Accomplishments 

• Completing our goals and following our core values

Those who have been harmed, or caused harm, are likely to experience a sense of failure. If unresolved this is likely to reduce a person's subsequent capacity to achieve and act in ways that better match their own core values.

Clearly restorative practices provide rich ways of restoring each of the five elements of Well-Being.

Understanding the "outcomes" of a restorative process

Understanding Restorative Practices
It is easy to underestimate (or over-estimate!!!) the outcomes of restorative practices. 

A casual observer might see "just a slap on the wrist" for a serious offence. A novice practitioner might hear the "right responses" to the script and believe that all has been resolved and a better future will follow.

It is important that those responsible for implementing Restorative Practices can accurately identify and  articulate the actual outcomes of a particular restorative process.  Restorative Practices are not an event!! They will need to be able to know and tell 'the full story' of what is achieved and much as they can. 

A range of  possible outcomes
For examples outcomes can be

• Actions - participants may apologise, shake hands, make restitution, forgive, reconcile, vent...
• Experiences - participants may have a sense of belonging, being heard...
• Changed relationships - resulting in new ways of interacting and experiencing each other based on the way in which particular people interact with self and others during and following the meeting
• Learning and insights - a better understanding of how the world works, and people are and how they work: cause and effect, flow-on effects, the experiences of others, similarities, differences, motivations,...
• New attitudes - beliefs and feelings that guide judgements and actions in relation to self, others and property
• Improved life chances - the ability to access opportunities that lead to success and well-being 
• And ...       

Outcomes emerge over time
To properly understand the outcomes they need to be monitored and supported on a timeline:

• Prior - what happened before and what the effects have been so far
• Immediate - what happened during the process
• Short-term - what happens immediately after:  the student (victim and/or offender) are retained at school; courts and incarceration avoided, improved the relationship between those involved,... 
• Long term - community building and life chances: a better place and improved likelihood of success and well being

No two identical instances
And finally the outcomes will be unique for each of the parties involved:  offender, victim, supporter.... and all need to be considered and accounted for each time. 

The fact that a process didn't work last time does not mean it is not worth trying this time.  as a friend and colleague of mine always taught:

• Be yourself
• Be your best
• And never give up  [Gilroy Ashdown]

Suicide prevention

Can restorative practices help reduce suicides? 

Restorative Practices may prevent suicide more often than we realise.

Clearly the use of restorative practices to reduce bullying and to repair the harm done by bullying is likely to reduce suicides by victims of bullying. But what about bullies and others who have done the wrong thing? 

This School of Life video explains how emotionally fragile we all are.  That we need forgiveness and respect and other emotional experiences from others in order to achieve and maintaining well-being so that we do not want to take our own lives. 

I well remember a really pleasant young man (teenager) who took his own life after his girl-friend became pregnant and decided to have an abortion without involving him in the decision making process. There was no family conference. One can only guess what unresolved emotional experiences led him to take his own life. So sad, a great waste and no doubt still so painful for his family and friends.

Click on the following infographic from studentsagainstdepression.org to see the common warning signs associated with someone considering taking their own life.

Restorative questions, meetings can allow these kinds of emotional content to be expressed and properly addressed.

Restorative Practices - Breaking down the silos

Northern Tasmania needs Restorative NorthTas

Sometimes silos can  be useful when they concentrate specialist effort for very specific purposes, e.g. neurosurgery. On the other hand silos can become barriers to collaboration between people who are struggling to meet the challenge of complex dispersed problems.

One of the strong themes associated with Restorative Practices is the breaking down of barriers between stakeholders - Restorative Practices are inclusive.

As these barriers dissolve new, stronger, more positive relationships, practices and arrangements often emerge leading to greater success and well-being for all concerned.

It is often individual staff members in schools and services groups, government agencies... who lead the way in breaking down the silos that exist between their respective organisations. 

They do this by collaborating to improve their support for those who need it most. With luck, senior management will notice the improvements being achieved and incorporate the new practices of their respective organisations.

In this way the silos of education, welfare, health and justice are being broken down so that people in need are receiving more effective support. 

Hopefully Restorative NorthTas will be able to provide useful support to enhance and sustain the important collaboration by those in the field.

Breaking the cycle of Family Violence

The cost of violence to children

Those who harm others have often experienced family violence as children. This is not an excuse. 
It is true that  many young victims grow up to be mature, loving and responsible adults who are great parents and citizens.  They have suffered, and been harmed by the trauma, neglect, abuse and/or poor parenting typically associated with family violence. Yet somehow the harm has been repaired.  A courageous parent, a grandparent, an older sibling, a teacher or caseworker or... may have made the critical difference. 

A destructive response to life's ups and downs?

Family violence is frequently a result of the perpetrators' failure to moderate their responses to life's ups and down. Such failures, in part, can be the result of childhood modelling and harm resulting from family violence. The harm remains un-repaired, the social and emotional development is lacking. When things go wrong everyone suffers and the problems continue.  In this way, family violence is passed on from one generation to the next.

Using restorative practices in response to the harm done by young people at school and in the community is important. Some achievements are amazing - the efforts of all concerned can be heroic.

The unsung heroes of Restorative Practices

There is another less spectacular version of Restorative Practices. One in which the harm that children carry with them is gently healed by caring teachers and coaches, patient and encouraging classmates and team mates. In their everyday life and work, these schools, clubs... 

• build themselves as communities in their own right
• include everyone, and support everyone's inclusion (if at all possible)
• set high standards for actions and relationships (respect and accountability)
• demonstrate that life always has its ups and downs and that is "OK"
• that the use of force is rarely necessary 
• ...

In this way they address the gaps left by poor or erroneous parenting and the lack of social and emotional learning. 

That is, we need our schools, services and communities to be restorative in order to help repair the harm done to children before they become perpetrators of family violence in the next generation.

Why thinking can be restorative

When things go wrong we ask questions in order to get a better understanding of the situation, its history and possible resolution.

One of the things that sets Restorative Practices aside from many other  approaches is its attention to the thinking of various parties involved. We ask questions like:

• "What were you thinking at the time?
• "What did you think when that happened?
• "What have you thought about since?"

Most other approaches tend to focus on establishing the "truth" of who did what, and attend to the feelings of those involved, especially the "victim".

So why can a focus on thinking be restorative?  I can think of two main reasons:

1. To gain greater insight into what happened 

It is very common that those involved have make erroneous assumptions and not fully understood what has happened and its implications. They may know what happened ("He stole my guitar!!") but have little insight into 

• how this came to happen and 
• what the motivations were
• how what actually happened differed from what was intended
• what this has meant for each party since the "guitar was stolen"
• how the matter might be resolved
• how relationships might be repaired
• how to reduce the likelihood on continuing problems

[ "Why" questions are very different. They start by identifying the "offender" as if a person can only be an offender or a victim. Then they challenge the offender to justify his/her actions or lose face - a commonly under-estimated painful and damaging experience. This in turn can make resolving the situation, repairing harm and rebuilding relationships more difficult - hence the need to impose "consequences" on the offender]

2. To gain greater insight into oneself and others

The other great value of "thinking" questions is that they may reveal contributing factors that have previously been hidden or unknown, even to the persons themselves. Teachers who use the restorative questions are frequently amazed by the insights they gain into the thinking of students they thought they knew well. 

For those involved, the insights are often the basis of significant social and emotional learning and may provide a basis for (informal) cognitive behaviour "therapy" that will help improve the future life experiences of those involved.

The behaviour of some people who have certain conditions or have been neglected, traumatised and/or abused is frequently problematic. They tend to react "instinctively" to situations on the basis of their previous "similar experiences" without the kinds of insights that can make a difference. Asking the "thinking" questions and taking their thinking seriously can be the basis of a powerful, sometimes life-changing "teachable moments".

Emotional Literacy and Restorative Practices

Lack of emotional literacy is a major contributor to problematic behaviour and harmed relationships.

Emotional literacy underpins most success and well-being. People with good levels of social literacy have a sound understanding of their own, and others' inner experiences. They better understand the society's requirements and expectations and are more skilful in using their social skills. Over time they develop and maintain of useful habits of mind.

Emotional Literacy is about 

• identifying, relating and communicating one's emotional responses to experience, and
• understanding and appreciating the emotional impact of experience on others

High levels of emotional literacy provides us with valid and comprehensive ‘data’ that then enables us to make well informed decisions and responses to the situations we encounter

The various aspects of emotional literacy include

• Awareness that our feelings arise from our thoughts about our experience
• Recognising emotions/feelings and intensity in ourselves and in others: friends, story characters…
• Naming feelings – “happy, sad, fear, anger, shame...
• Naming the intensity of feelings – vocab & awareness
• Expressing feelings
• Verbal expression of feelings - “I feel….
• Non-verbal expression of feelings - using body language, images, music...
• Matching feelings to experience – thinking about…
• Predictions how feelings may change
• Knowing about the common mistakes we often make about feelings

Restorative practices often provide participants with new insights into the emotional impact of events on themselves and each other. These insights can be life-changing and the key to repairing harm, rebuilding relationships and building community.

Restorative practices make a powerful pedagogy for developing emotional literacy from real-life in real-time. 

Schools as communities

Education as a service?

The major operational units of the Tasmanian Department of Education are called regional "Learning Services".

But what does this say about the core responsibilities and activities and the people involved? Who is supposed to be active and who is to be passive? Who has the authority to do what? Who are the contributors and who are the consumers? What is the social contract between participants and stakeholders? And how does this shape the climate in which education occurs?

These issues are not easily unravelled by thinking of education as a service, for example, using this model the consumers (learners) are the producers of the outcomes???? Great schools need to be more than service centres.

Schools as communities

@iirpgradschool recently tweeted an interesting and different perspective:

• We must include young people in changing the climate in the (school) building. "I am no longer a consumer – I am a contributor." 

The IIRP perspective sees schools as communities in their own right. In communities, people belong, they are included by others, they have opportunities to contribute, and they are accountable to other members of the community for their actions...

Restorative Practices enable schools to develop as communities:

• Affective statements enhance communication and help build collaborative relationships
• Circles enable everyone to be included and to contribute towards their own success, the success of others and the school as a community
• And when things go wrong restorative questions, meetings and conferences can support those involved, enable harm to be repaired, relationships to be rebuilt and wrong-doers to be retained
• Belonging and contributing meet a fundamental human need, reduce anger and discontent by adding to identity

Restorative Practices and Social Emotional Learning

Restorative Practices are a powerful part of Social and Emotional Learning
Social and emotional learning is intrinsic in all aspects of the life and work of the school. To be successful in school and in life students need to develop capabilities in the areas of
 - Self-awareness
 - Self-management
 - Social-awareness
 - Responsible decision making
 - Relationship skills

As a result we need numerous pedagogies to support Social and Emotional Learning.  Each pedagogy is of greater or lesser value according to the people involved, purposes, needs and context involved.
['Context' includes the histories, experiences and capabilities of those involved including staff, families and the community.]

Common pedagogies for Social and Emotional Learning (SEL)

• quality teaching - supporting all learning as a social and emotional endeavour
• literature studies - all good literature includes social and emotional content
• role playing games - provide novel experience and new insights
• active supervision - engaging with students in a range of contexts
• circles, meetings conferences - engaging collaboratively around social and emotional matters
• restorative questions - for when things go wrong 
• SEL programs - using some of the many available programs to specifically address social and emotional learning - see KidsMatter (for primary schools) and MindMatters (secondary) for information on a wide range of SEL programs. Also the The Australian Guidance and Counselling Association index of programs
• philosophy - teaching thinking skills, ways of thinking and acting and addressing social and emotional issues
• themes and topics - structured learning sequences focusing on chosen social and emotional matters
• leading: directing for action, coaching for skills, mentoring for understanding, collaborating for effectiveness
• expectations - embedding explicit social and emotional expectations in the life and work of the school
• action learning
• solution focus
• values, rules, regulations -
• structures, organisation, policies -
• problem solving, responses and consequences
• engaging in dialogue - discussion, agreement, negotiation, mediation, arbitration
• counselling, therapy and other support services
• acknowledgements: greetings, feedback, tokens, awards, celebrations...
• modelling:  often needs to be made explicit
• ...

The aspects of SEL overlap and so it is not necessary to address each one separately. Each of the above pedagogies can be used to support SEL in each of the four areas

Implement SEL through improved pedagogies

1. Focus on quality teaching
2. Start by including emotional literacy within regular literacy lessons
3. Follow up with incidental SEL coaching within active supervision including 
• Affective Statements
• Restorative questions
4. Extend this to include emotional literacy within all learning areas
5. Use everyday circles, check-in and check-out...
6. Develop restorative problem solving practices including problem solving circles

Negative Social and Emotional Learning

• harassment
• unfair exclusion
• put-downs
• intimidation
• taking advantage of younger, more naive people
• ...

"Restoring" order

When harm is done it is relatively easy to identify the primary relationships that have been damaged and need to be restored.

In serious matters, restorative practices also address close secondary relationships by including supporters of both the offenders and victims.

Well-meaning authorities may attempt to "keep the door open" for those who have caused some harm by implementing minimal consequences. For example, a court may apply a suspended sentence for a serious offence. 

In terms of the social discipline window (Fig 1.), such approaches can be perceived as permissive (high support - low challenge). However, this can undermine the confidence of bystanders and their relationships with those involved and the system (justice system, school...). A bystander is anyone who knows that harm was done, before, during or after the fact. 

Restorative (high challenge - high support) approaches  involve the completion of substantial, well-managed challenges by those who have caused harm. Such challenges are important restoring relationships and repairing the harm done. 

\Communicating the successful completion of these challenges can be important for wider bystanders who need to know that justice has been done, and that there is order including social discipline.