Domestic violence and restorative practices

A national focus

Across Australia this week, there has been a strong focus on domestic violence.

The Hitting Home series on ABC TV together with the associated Q&A special provided a wealth of material for reflection and discussion.

For me, the strong but understated implication of the programs was the desperate need for 

• Social and emotional development of the perpetrators (and victims)
• Repair of the harm done to the victims (and perpetrators)

How much of the problematic behaviour in schools is the product of child abuse and domestic violence? Much more than is generally acknowledged.

In the Q&A program there was a report of the recent initiatives to move from reactive police after the event, to preventative policing before more harm is done.

Schools can play a powerful long-term role in preventing further domestic violence by embedding restorative practices to

• repair harm already done
• make expectations explicit - everyone needs to know and agree what is acceptable
• build community that  supports both victims and potential perpetrators*
• enable the social and emotional development of all members of the school community.

(* I have always believed that being a bully is bad for the bully)

I wrote about Breaking the Cycle of Family Violence a few months ago. This week has only re-enforced the need to maintain every effort possible.

It is not about Restorative Practices

It is not about Restorative Practices per se

To paraphrase this profound GapingVoid cartoon:

Restorative practices are not the thing. It is the person, family, home, team, class, school, community... that you build with restorative practices that are the real thing.

Restorative practices/justice are a powerful set of strategies and tools but they have no value in themselves. Their value lies in enabling  ordinary people to

• Resolve often serious problems 
• Repair harm done
• (Re-)build relationships and 
• Build the "community".

And this is why the Social Discipline Window is at the core of Restorative Practices. 

Building relationships and community cannot be done TO or FOR the people involved. And it won't happen is no-one gets involved. 

To build a "house" (community) it necessary to work WITH the people involved. This means providing the necessary Support and Challenges that are embedded in all Restorative Practices.

Restoring Habits of Mind

Positive Habits of Mind

Habits of Mind are our patterns of thinking that shape our actions and experiences over time, and in a range of situations.

Positive habits of mind contribute to our own best interests, while respecting the rights of other. Sadly unhelpful habits of mind make life more difficult for us and for those around us.

Good or bad they operate automatically and require little effort so that we may not even be aware that we have unhelpful habits in the way we see and respond to others and situations that we encounter.

In a sense our habits of mind are our personal systems for dealing with our selves in the world. As such they are likely to contain our real values.

Positive habits of mind are not simple rules or skills but often require considerable insight, astute judgement, resilience, courage, practice and tenacity….leading to ongoing success and well-being.

Habits of Mind and Restorative Practices

Restorative Practices support the development of positive habits of mind.

Restorative circles and restorative questions often also reveal unhelpful habits. For example, it is common for participants in circles or restorative meetings to gain profound insights leading to new ways of thinking about themselves and each other.

Restorative commitments and on-going support enable 'offenders' to practice new habits of mind. This is one reason why follow-up is important

Outcomes
There are lots of good things can flow from developing improved habits of mind:

• Confidence
• Persistence
• Organisation
• Getting Along (improved relationships)
• Resilience 
• ...

Lots of ways of acting and responding

By improving our habits of mind, Restorative Practices can improve the following social and emotional abilities that are essential for our success and well-being:

• Accepting Myself and Other
• Taking Risks
• Being Independent
• Giving Effort
• Working Tough
• Setting Goals
• Optimism
• Happiness
• Thinking and communicating with clarity and precision
• Focusing on solutions (rather than problems)
• Managing impulsivity
• Gathering data through all senses
• Listening with understanding and empathy
• Creating, imagining and innovation
• Thinking flexibly
• Responding with wonderment and awe
• Thinking about thinking (metacognition)
• Taking responsible risks
• Striving for accuracy
• Finding humour
• Questioning and posing problems
• Thinking independently
• Applying past knowledge
• Remaining open to continuous learning
• ...

Note: Consider how many of the above are impacted by drug addiction, mental illness and unresolved guilt.

3 Tiers of Restorative Practices

Integrating RP and PBIS

Restorative Practices (RP) and School-wide Positive Behaviour Support (PBIS) overlap and complement each other. And many schools use both approaches in very well integrated ways.

For example, I came across this diagram explaining three levels of intervention as it applies to the use of Restorative Practices in schools

Like well implemented Restorative Practices, PBIS is school-wide and aims to build clarity of expectations, support, relationships and community. It is not just about solving problems. In many schools Restorative Practices are valued as powerful positive interventions and supports.

Three Levels of application

For those involved in School-Wide PBIS, the above diagram will be very familiar!! And adopting Restorative Practices is a natural step forward to make the school's PBIS even more effective. At the same time it is important to remember that Restorative Practices is not a short-cut version of PBIS!

And as in PBIS, it can be useful to think of three levels of application of RP 

1. School-wide Prevention Practices can easily incorporate many aspects of RP including

• use of affective statements
• extensive use of circles for a wide range of everyday purposes

2. Managing Difficulties includes supports such as 

• the use of the (Restorative) questions that can generate insight and create possibilities for resolving issues 
• more use of (Restorative) circles / meetings  focused on existing and/or emerging issues with the students (and others) involved

3. Intense Intervention includes

• restorative conferences

[The above diagram is from Restorative Justice - a working guide for our schools - a sound, easy-to-read guide to implementing what some call "restorative practices" at the school or school district level.  For more information simply Google "pbis"]

We want you here!!

Where is your focus? Problem solving or belonging??

The Restorative Schools online newspaper reports each week about schools reducing suspensions, having fewer problems... all things that make the school a better, safer place to be.

But one slightly different headline caught my eye - a message to students:

We want you here!!         

Such schools are voicing a direct commitment to their students, all their students!! Not just those who arrive at school in reasonable shape and comply with the schools' expectations.

Many problematic students are not wanted anywhere else in our communities... school might be their only chance to be wanted in a healthy community. To belong is a basic human need we all share. 

The school, club... doesn't want a person who else will? Employers? Clubs? Community groups?... Probably not!!

This is fundamental to the success of Restorative Practices - that those who have done harm can still belong.

How clearly does your school, club, group...communicate with all its people that they are wanted?

Restoring our organisations

"Restorative" is not just for people (updated)

Does your organisation make it easy for people to "do the right thing"?

Sometimes we need to "restore" our organisations, communities, teams, businesses, clubs, classes, schools...so that people do the right thing and there is less need for restorative justice.

Common approaches
The basic organisational approach is to try to fix every problem as it occurs (if possible). A more comprehensive approach is to respond at the three levels outlined in Problem Solving with Restorative Practices: 
Contain - Resolve (& Repair) - Reduce

An even more comprehensive and pro-active approach is to do both the above AND restore the organisation (school, service, team, business...) in which problems arise. But how to do it in in ways that are consistent with Restorative principles? And where to start?

Underlying principles
The fundamental principles underpining Restorative approaches include...

• The care and attention we give demonstrates the value we place on matters and things. 
• Most of us (attempt to) respond to the value we perceive that others place on matters and things.

Restorative management makes it easier to "do the right thing"

1. Make expectations explicit- involve everyone in developing expectations
2. Make expectations achievable - some people may need assistance
3. Show that we care - 'walk the talk'
4. Explain why we care - leadership, values, develop emotional intelligence
5. Achieve agreement across and throughout the organisation, community...
6. Act to reduce the frequency of problems arising  - see below
7. Fix a problem promptly when it gets broken and involve 'the perpetrator' if possible
8. Monitor and celebrate ongoing improvements
9. Use alternate responses if the 'window' gets broken repeatedly by the same people

 At the organisational level the following steps can "restore" the organisation. 

1. Know which problems occur frequently around here                  
2. Check the available data - does reality match perceptions?
3. Establish priorities for attention, prevention & response
4. Work through the key elements (above) in relation to a priority problem  

A frequently occurring problem can lead to an action plan focused on making it easier for everyone to do the right thing. The action plan is properly implemented when it goal happens as a matter of course without intervention, supervision...

Is it really new?

Chances are the above represents the best of what you already do, especially if you are a Restorative Practitioner. Perhaps this framework will enable everyone to be a little more consistent and collaborate a little more easily.

A more detailed discussion is available Broken Windows.

Problem Solving with Restorative Practices

Three levels of response to problems

Solving problems involves up to three levels of response:

Contain - Resolve (& Repair) - Reduce

Restorative Practices can have an important role to play in all three levels.

 

1. Contain the situation - so that it doesn't get worse and no more harm is done. 

Many restorative practices may contribute to de-escalating a tense the situation:

• Calm, affective statements can express care, concern and non-judgemental support for all involved
• Calm restorative questions may enable the parties to have their experiences acknowledged, assuring them that they have been or will be heard. This in turn may reduce their fear, anger, frustration...
• Even a quick spontaneous circle may really help defuse a situation. With more formal follow-up later, if appropriate
• Having a restorative culture with a proven track record means that the parties involved 
• can be confident that "We can handle this" and, 
• the process will be fair

2. Resolve what happened & Repair the harm done

For minor problems, containing the situation using the above strategies may well be sufficient. But do some incidental follow-up, just to make sure!!

For major problems more formal Restorative Practices may require restorative Circles, Meetings or Conferences that...

• Are entered into voluntarily by all parties
• Are well facilitated: suitable venue, layout, skilled, respectful, well timed, sequenced (scripted)
• Ensure proper accountability
• Lead to repairing the harm done if possible
• And have effective follow up as required to ensure that the problem has been resolved, commitments met, relationships restored...

3. Reduce the likelihood of the problem recurring

In the busy life of schools, businesses and other organisations time, energy and attention are valuable resources not to be wasted on non-core activities. It can be very satisfying and a relief to "fix" a problem. This is one reason we can be tempted to cut corners, simply tick off a problem as "solved" and move on.

But what if the problem recurs? It just means more time, energy and attention has to be given to fixing it next time!! Which also means less time for core activities. Rework is waste. So how to reduce the likelihood of problems recurring? 

There are lots of ways to do this including...

BUILD COMMUNITY!! - shared purposed, inclusion, belonging, identity...

- Train staff and others in restorative practices  

- Deploy and integrate restorative practices across the organisation 

- Identify as a restorative organisation*

- Develop a restorative culture  

- Make people aware of your restorative culture* 

- Share your restorative experiences  

- Use restorative practices (statements, questions, circles...) in non-problem situations 

- Gather data about your use and the effectiveness of your Restorative Practices

*NOTE:  Courage may be required

Identifying as a restorative organisation, and letting others know about may require a modicum of courage. We have to be brave enough to say "We are not perfect, we have problems too, things go wrong here,...". 

But remember there are two questions in the minds of your clients, students, families, staff, ...

"Does this organisation care about me, us, my child...?"
"Does this organisation know what it is doing?"

Being a restorative organisation is a step towards being able to answer both questions with a clear and demonstrable "Yes!"